It is amazing when you are growing up how you let little things affect your life. Take for example having a negative stepfather, no matter what you do it is never good enough, or when you do something the person does not like they verbally attack.
I at 32 years of age have come of mental age, when we were growing up my stepfather made it sound like us school was a waste of time and just busy work not really worth the time. You can only hear the negativity so long before you start to believe it, at an early age you believe what your parental figures say even when they are not really in your best interest; you get into a mindset that something is just too hard or not worth the time to do it.
I have come to the realization that the reason for these comments was that my stepfather never did them, so he did not think we needed to do them. My mother was always working so she never was around to hear these comments; she was always the bread winner for the family. I feel that if I would have had a little bit of positive encouragement when I was growing, that I would have accomplished more and been a better student, but that is neither here or there.
I always thought in the past that, I had ADHD or a mild version of it, know that is bull shit I just was never really shown how to just sit down and focus on something that was important. It was always do what my stepfather wanted me to do even though I would get in trouble in school because I didn’t do my home work. When I went to college I was still in the environment of school is a waste of time, I see now that was a part of my problem. The problem was not with my learning, it was the where I was living at the time. I see now living on my own and not having to deal with my stepfather, and his negative attitude that I can accomplish anything. That is why I am going back to school this fall, plus working on my book, now on to the reason for my post.
I have been on a reading feast that last couple of months. Reading a lot of different authors and story arks, starwars, 2 different series from Arthur C Clarke(Space odyssey, The Rama series). I just recently just finished reading Off Armageddon reef by David Weber, what an awesome book I can’t wait for the next one to come out on the 22nd.
I never really understood when I was growing up what book reports were trying to teach, it was not until recently what they were trying. Yes I know they were making sure that we were actually reading the books, but they were also trying to get us to analyze the books the plot the characters and so on. I see now that and I understand that they were these were exercises enhance our analytical skills for later in life. I missed so many things growing up, that I plan to get by going back to school and learning how to do it the right way.